Needles, Brooches, Pins, And That Other Stuff

I never good at this...



G suka dengan yg bribet2... [dulunya mikir this stuff tuh bribet, amat]

Sadar sesadar2nya, tidak bisa seperti dulu lagi...

Kalau keluar rumah, selalu menunggu waktunya mepet, jadinya buru-buru. Rencana keluarnya jam 3 karena harus berada di suatu tempat jam 4, malah officially keluar setengah 4 lewat dikit, kadang lewat banyak...
Sekarang, harus benar-benar bersiap 1 sampe 1.5 jam sebelum betul-betul keluar rumah... kalau tidak, bakal benar-benar terlambat.

Dulu paling suka matching-in baju dengan gaya a little bit sporty tidak peduli warnanya sehancur apa, membayangkan setiap hari itu akan ada petualangan yang mengharuskan saya jalan kaki jauh, lompat sana sini, lari-lari ntah tau kemana, and so on, and so on
Sekarang... I'm busy thinking about the colors, which shoes does match with my clothes, which brooch to wear, busy with those pins, with those needles, and that other stuff... yang dulunya, berusaha sejauh mungkin dari urusan ribet itu.

I'm not good handling those pins etc. Go back 4-5 years ago [really is that long?!?!?! ], cuma bisa bertahan rapi paling lama 10 menit. Setelah itu... I really don't care anymore...
Funny when I remember that time...
Rapi-nya itu susah minta ampun.

Lihat orang lain, mereka bisa rapi karena [tampaknya mau tak mau] harus berurusan dengan peniti, jarum pentul, dkk.
Fiuh, I can't do that, that will take MORE extra time, and I don't have time. Prefer to make it look simple, not sophisticated, and not insulated every move that I will probably do.
Kadang memang hasilnya tidak se-rapi yang saya mau... but times up, means I have to take it, like or not

Disapa mbak-mbak di tempat makan, "jadi lebih rapi", memangnya dulu saya berantakan???
Ribet??? Not anymore, not whenever I don't have to dealing with those pins and their companies.
It's getting fun...

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Me, Wise?!

Semalam di fesbuk liat status ini di wall nya k uci,

mengapa lebih mudah memberikan nasehat pada orang lain daripada menjalani nasehat itu untuk diri sendiri??

then suddenly a pop up thought came up, "right!!!"

Sudah berapa kali kasih nasehat ke orang-orang [baik diminta or tidak diminta :D ], tapi yang pasti kalau masalah mereka itu saya yang mengalami, mmmm... I won't be able to handle it as those advices that I've ever given to them, not without listening those advices before.

Selalu begitu... walaupun sebenarnya kadang pemecahan masalah itu sudah terlintas di kepala, entah kenapa, still not sure that it'll solve the problem. Butuh campur tangan orang lain buat meyakinkan...

Yup, I need them, as a reminder, as a support, as a wake up calling...

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Butterflies In My Stomach

Kata Mbak Wikipedia that is mean:

a medical condition characterized by the physical sensation of a "fluttery" feeling in the stomach. This sensation can be a physical sensation related to the body's fight or flight response or it can be an ineffable experience related to the psychology of nervousness.
Some believe that this is caused by the release of epinephrine (adrenaline) when one is nervous, pulling blood away from the stomach and sending it to the muscles. This reduced blood flow, in turn, causes the stomach to temporarily shut down, and possibly the reason for reduced appetite.

I don't like this feeling, I'm not only have one butterfly in my stomach, butterflies...
This feeling is too often coming to me for the last two years. The more it comes, the more I hate it. I lost my appetite, I lost my enthusiasm, I lost all, can't and don't want to do anything if it comes. The only thing that I can do is just wait. And I don't really like waiting. Sometimes I worrying things that I should not worrying about.
I don't like this, but don't know how to get rid from it. Everytime I hear, see, and feel something that I don't like, or I think it will distressing me,

boom....

those butterflies suddenly flying at me
I try to count how many times this butterflies invasion could come in a week.
Well, sometimes it comes 7 days in a week, 4 days in a week, 3 days in a week, 2 days in a week, 1 day in a week.
When it comes too often, I start to thinking, maybe I'm not belong in here. And I'm pretty sure that I'm right, until now. I am not belong in here.


Anw, this morning I receive an application for my position now. It's amazing to holding it. I was once receive applications for my position, but not really to take mine.
I really wanna sing Leaving on a Jet Plane now, but it's not time for me to go now, not yet ^_^
I probably hate to go... but exciting at the same time...

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