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Butterflies In My Stomach

Kata Mbak Wikipedia that is mean:
a medical condition characterized by the physical sensation of a "fluttery" feeling in the stomach. This sensation can be a physical sensation related to the body's fight or flight response or it can be an ineffable experience related to the psychology of nervousness.
Some believe that this is caused by the release of epinephrine (adrenaline) when one is nervous, pulling blood away from the stomach and sending it to the muscles. This reduced blood flow, in turn, causes the stomach to temporarily shut down, and possibly the reason for reduced appetite.

I don't like this feeling, I'm not only have one butterfly in my stomach, butterflies...
This feeling is too often coming to me for the last two years. The more it comes, the more I hate it. I lost my appetite, I lost my enthusiasm, I lost all, can't and don't want to do anything if it comes. The only thing that I can do is just wait. And I don't really like waiting. Sometimes I worrying things that I should not worrying about.
I don't like this, but don't know how to get rid from it. Everytime I hear, see, and feel something that I don't like, or I think it will distressing me,


those butterflies suddenly flying at me
I try to count how many times this butterflies invasion could come in a week.
Well, sometimes it comes 7 days in a week, 4 days in a week, 3 days in a week, 2 days in a week, 1 day in a week.
When it comes too often, I start to thinking, maybe I'm not belong in here. And I'm pretty sure that I'm right, until now. I am not belong in here.

Anw, this morning I receive an application for my position now. It's amazing to holding it. I was once receive applications for my position, but not really to take mine.
I really wanna sing Leaving on a Jet Plane now, but it's not time for me to go now, not yet ^_^
I probably hate to go... but exciting at the same time...

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