The Second Place Is The First Looser!

I was someone who'd like to compete, with myself or to compete with others, quietly *blushing.

Sounds strange, I know.

I'm not a real ambitious person. I mean everyone, basically wanna do better.

I do like racing, racing with time, which is hardly impossible. I enjoying pushing myself to do more before time is out.

I like being in the first place. But it doesn't happen many times. So I kinda enjoy being and get used to be in any number on the line.

It just sometimes, there're times where people tickling me, make me felt that they're underestimate me. While I thought I've done pretty good than someone else, but whose got the perfect score... It makes me wanna poke them and say "Hey, I can do better, so you may sit down and watch me doing it".

Well, that underestimated feeling definitely kills something.

Remember when I lost my temptation for adventuring, I loose my appetite to compete. I let everything slip away. I don't care anymore, everything could happen as it please. I just don't care.

Being to chilly, tomorrow is a never-ending-tomorrow. There'll be someone else who will take the jobs and there'll be no detention for that, except maybe a peep-talk behind.

Over thinking those things are just too consumed, thinking other is just an irrelevant thing to do and have an excuse that I'm doing this for my sake.

Anyway, living in a society makes there's no better way in handling things. I'm just trying to do the "right" thing for me, but for others that is just so wrong.

But maybe because I am doing it in the wrong way *giggling.

The best way handling things is never mean take yourself out from the crowd, building walls as high as you can, lock up yourself in a room, be there, do whatever you like, being even more careless to everything, stop making plan, stop learning, stop laughing, keep running away. Decreasing value in yourself is never be an answer for every sad, sarcasm, rhetoric, negative questions. Instead of doing those things, why not learning something new, challenge yourself harder than before, write itineraries, hunting more low-cost-carrier tickets, thinking more about a place called home, restart reading books, keep writing about anything from annoying things to elaborate things. So in the end I  still can say "Hey, I can do better, so you may sit down and watch me re-doing it again".
*then I'd do the evil laughing.

NB: the title is a copy-paste from a chef on tv :D